May he get his chance to kick ...!

Today as I was taking my usual walk around the building, I saw my kutta play football with a group of his friends...a sight not too usual, given I've generally not seen him take to the game. Infact he had told me that, because he 'doesnt know the game well' , children did not include him necessarily. Of course, no one wants a game to slow down or to spend time explaining the game to someone who does not know it. ..Well...no one has the patience to include others....

As I saw him hustle around the ball today with his friends, my gaze stood for a while on him and on the ball intently, wishing he gets a chance to kick the ball. Oh the ball went here and there, missed his legs a couple of times...and finally in between he did manage to kick it a wee bit. I was sooo happy for him! It almost felt like a sense of relief ...that he was not 'left out', that he did not feel he 'did not get his chance'...

Sigh...today it is just a frivolous game of ball...what about the larger Kreeda of life as described in Bhaja Govindam. How much would I be able to witness his ebb and flow? How many times would I get to stand by and wish..and wish..oh may he get that chance to kick...ass ! 

I bet I cant capture every such moment..but I can only hope and pray..May GOD give him the strength to face all the moments when the ball evades his leg. I can only pray for that my little..my cute pie

On another thought...I keep feeling..life is so short and there is so much I need to do ..so much more to learn...God thank you for all the small mercies you show me..help me rise above my pettiness and to engage in your thought..Bhaja Govindam. 

Bhaja Govindam- Let us enlighten our way to Jnana

I dont know what made me want to learn its meaning today. I always felt something was special about it. There is some deep philosophy in it that is meant for common man. I did some research on YouTube and found a very simple to understand link . 

Bhaja Govindam Bhaja Govindam

Govindam Bhaja Muudd mathe

Sampraapte sann-nihite kaale

Nahi Nahi rakshati dukrin karane

I remember this picture so well, on the walls of the house I grew in. Sankaracharya sitting on the banks of the Ganga in Varanasi teaching the students Bhaja Govindam, when he sees the copper vessel slide down

Commitments and reminders for 2024

As I start this new year, I want to be reminded by what Swami Chinmayananda said.. "There is really no new year. When we decide to change, is what a New year or a new YOU is about" 

I think that makes so much sense. Having gone through a very intense 2023, I want to start 2024 with certain reminders to my self, not really resolutions. These reminders are based on my learnings in 2023, looking back at instances I dint cope well in. They have been good learning grounds for me to take into 2024. So here's my list

a] I AM capable of doing things. I DONT need validation from people around me to keep me motivated. There have been MANY times I have proved this to myself. NO ONE can make me feel inferior. If I do, I am LETTING them to make me feel so

b] I DON'T need to PLEASE anyone at work. THEY actually DON'T matter to me in life given they are NOT going to be around when I need help. Its OKAY fully to be firm, blunt and LAND your expectations. YOU DONT need to look good for ALL at all. LET them talk about YOU. So WHAT???

c] I SHOULD NOT search for my values at work. Infact let me leave a bit of my soul behind [ not MY values] and enter work. That way I WONT ALLOW myself to get hurt. 

d] DON'T try to be perfect in ANYTHING. It BURNS you out and honestly......the work I do doesnt require it AT ALL. 

e] LEARN to delegate and BE SHAMELESS about it. ITS OK. No one is sitting to attack YOU. They are also SAVING their jobs. 

f] REDUCE time spent online AS MUCH as possible, instead do things you believe ADD value to you- E.g reading a book, listening to carnatic music

g] BE AS ORGANIZED as you can and DO NOT procrastinate wherever possible. When you are at work, YOU ARE AT WORK. Dont browse random sites and then sit through the night working. AS MUCH as you can, take out CLEAN time for yourself. WORK will continue ALWAYS..it NEVER stops. 

h] BE BRAVE. If you lose your job, your role gets exposed...SO WHAT. Surely you will find SOMETHING. If you cant, then who CAN , should be your attitude. YOU CANT LIVE every day in FEAR..you JUST CANT. It will kill you from within. DONT Stress over this job...you have a life BEYOND the last 2 weeks of December

i] DONT fret over her emails.TRUST me, ethics & values are anyways NOT there. YOUR job at work is to do YOUR duty, what YOU are asked. YOU ARE NOT here to establish some ashram. DONT try and find sanity too. The issue is WHEN YOUR EXPECTATIONS DO NOT get met. Start with NOTHING. 

You DONT need to panic with every ping, email at all.. WONT YOU look into it ?? CHILL...she has a way to rattle and your falling for it LIKE AN IDIOT

j] DONT fret every day. THE JOB your entering into MAKES NO SENSE to the world..trust THAT! We are running our own shit show to look busy. PLAY THE GAME WELL. DONT lose it at people at home...for THIS ! YOUR son needs to see a good mother , a kind & patient mother. HE doesnt deserve to be at the RECEIVING END of your work irritation. 

https://hbr.org/2012/12/nine-ways-successful-people-de 

LASTLY PRAY....keep time for your own thoughts, to collect yourself...try reading 1 chapter a day [ away FROM social media...maybe keep time ONLY on a Friday night for it...try it for a week]

YOU need to protect your health. IF NO health..there is nothing left..you know that. Dont STRESS for THIS SHIT ....calm down and count backwards...EVERYTHING can be solved

LOVE Yourself.

THANK You DADDY and be with Me :)