I am work in progress

Dear Chikki

I love you a lot ..you know that. I think but there is a side of me you wish you had more of...my calm self, giving you more time, more (?!) attention....somehow I know I am not doing a great job there. 

I recall asking you sometime back...tell me what would be 1 thing you'd want from your mother..and you said "She be present when I return from school"... 😢. I know that feeling. I have been privileged to have that luxury with my mother at home ALWAYS available. ALWAYS. with some banana shake, popcorn or something that Id look forward to. She would walk to Bun World and by sponge cake and chips. I recall the aluminium dabba it would be kept in and she would hide one more extra packet in the kitchen. 

And..yeah some days ..maybe many days when u walk in chikki im not at home. Im sorry. I really am. I need my work..I need to work...to give you some other things...things I dont need to depend asking someone for..things that I can buy without feeling guilty..things that I can spend on when u just ask me for it....and to just feel financially free da. Without this job, I dont think I can do that.

Also you told me 2-3 things that stuck with me

1. If I can change my job and do something less demanding

2. If I can get to a lower level- whether thats even a possibility !💞🥰

hmmmm...I know I can do better da... I will try. I am work in progress. I will always give my best to you...atleast I want to