Small things and so precious!

Omg! I got these cutest videos of my chikki and I have been watching them non stop multiple times. 

My dear son- cant believe you've grown so much. Please dont grow so fast 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And just now look at these cutieeee pie videos

Happiness is what your mind talks to you

They say whatever happens around you..can continue to...but how your mind reacts and shapes your mood---determines your own reactions to the situation. This is so true.... You know what...I got my new car yesterday...nothing that Im happy or anything ; I am grateful thats all and amazed at how much God lets me 'have it' all. Just pure gratitude. Like sometimes I am in awe--at how blessed I can get. I hope I dont ever take all this for granted..ever. 

I was constantly asked ..party party...frankly nothing excites me. I dont know God...im sorry. I feel burntout-- I dont want to use such words.. but I do feel that way. I really do. I am feeling burnt out of this constant living 'under threat' mindset..I read somewhere my mind has the same reaction to everything at times...like a cheetah is after me. Its unable to distinguish. 

Im not trying to use /reinforce such theory upon me...but somehow I feel like accepting it, because this is highly similar to how I feel 

Today morning it felt another 'attempt' to go out for breakfast...So much of chaos- Nirvaan not wanting to go to a place...S I think at some level not wanting to go at all.... you know what God....I DONT WANT to go anywhere...I want to be happy with where I am...ironical..I HAVE EVERYTHING...we have EVERYTHING..EVERY DAMN THING..and then there is no smile, there is barking all around..chaos...shouting... I dont want anything God....If I ever 'ask' you for anything..remind me God..that I dont need anything...

I dont want to go out anywhere unhappy. somehow God nothing gives me excitement-- maybe somewhere I feel this is all an illusion......

Happiness is a state of mind

Not when we get something or not

Not when we have something or not

It is a state of calm 

Knowing that you are enough, you have more than enough

and that I will finally not take anything along with me

And Yet again.....and for what

Yet again lost my cool with my kuttu..UNNECESSARILY..TOTALLY..ALWAYS this is the feeling... he is going to be a flicker in my life...the one that keeps my heart yearning for more and I end up messing up with that....I seek forgiveness....and I need help God...to control myself...to remind myself that...

1. This work ...what I do... I will be replaced

2. I am SUCH AN INSIGNIFICANT person in the scheme of things- but an important one for my son

3. Life is TRULY short ..happiness is what is TODAY..my parents alive..my chikki near me..always

4. There is NO LOSS NOR WIN...in life..we are all going to LOSE..all going to GIVE UP and GO

5. God has given me MORE THAN enough....I have a working body, I have good health...I am ENOUGH...I AM MORE THAN I can be

I prostrate at your lotus feet ..Om Sri Sainatha Namah....to this day when I cried asking your help. Keep me in your control