7 months since I last posted any activity on my blog...did I default , by not abiding to some imperceptible rulebook that necessitates I update it diligently on a monthly/weekly basis? The start of a new year did trigger some momentum to initiate a clichéd start to a new post , something on lines of "Another year gone by..." . I did in-fact type it out ,ruminated a while & then decided against taking it forward.For reasons more than one penning my thoughts did take a back seat and gladly so :) I was indeed preoccupied by something much more befitting to give time to! Like... finally crossing over the fence this May 12th and marrying the dude of my liking! The chase, the wait...all culminating to some unforgettable , to-be-well-preserved memories! ( The run upto the big-event , the post event vacation bash all deserving a separate documentation ..as for now Mrs Dumbledore can only transport so much to the Pensieve ! )
Making this decision called Marriage isn’t easy! And it's not a from a girl's lens I write so. It's equally challenging for the dude! Having spent a greater part of your life responsible for YOURself, YOUR emotions, YOUR decisions impacting mainly YOU, it IS a transcending of existing mindset to live with another person. It's not that we lived an alienated life so far. We did have our ecosystems of parents, relatives et al ; We have lived with friends, shared apartments, split bills and concluded that "it was an awesome time"...but 'marriage' somehow does come with some complementary biases :) and biases needn’t necessarily be negative or for that matter wrong! After all, it’s one’s opinion vs. another’s. To live under one roof observing perhaps behavioural patterns that don’t necessarily conform to your set ways could be a likely situation even with the friend you bunk with. However where the difference lies is in expectations! An underlying, obscured expectation from your counterpart that he/she would be able to read into one’s thoughts, understand & probably why not- amend one's ways too! While this sounds undesirable, discussing a similar topic with a friend over drinks, (the stage for best advice to be delivered!) placed some positivity around this. There is nothing wrong in expectations! It signifies a closer relationship, one which can be taken for granted and hence one that gives us most freedom to express as well! We wouldn’t dare be didactic with friends most often. When we begin internalising this good in it, we begin to appreciate her/him much better!
It may sound evangelistic to be summarising ‘way to deal better’ with just 2 months of married life up ….but who cares…there isn’t any etched recipe/timing for a so called successful marriage. It’s about learning by the day & this is my lesson for now J
Summing this up- I recall a prayer which I only said by rote until now. Few lines from it
….. May we live honestly, producing more than what we consume & GIVING MORE than what we take! I believe the latter helps tide over when expectations dont live up :)
For having crossed over the fence, to the other side, casting aside what was a speculation until now, I can say it’s a much Greener side indeed- here’s cheers to my dude & to life ahead with him!!
