Monday 6 April 2015

Zero Expectations!

March 31st 2015 and my dad completed his 17 years of service in one single organization which also marked the end of his professional life. 66 years of age today, he has spent close to 38 years of his life working. These 38 years have seen their highs and lows-marked by personal challenges along with professional battles. There was not one day he could make 'choices', the flexibility we youngsters have today. He had only ONE way. He had to work, to make life happen for us. I am so proud today to have been part of his journey. I may have not helped him in anyway, but I have learnt a lot from him. The need to commit oneself and give the best to what one takes up.
Happy to see him start on another journey now, it only saddened me to know none of the folks in his senior management team turned up for his farewell. I dont know about their personal rifes/agendas/biases if any. We all have our short-comings, egoes that we confront others with, but I can say hand over heart his effort has been an unsullied one. 
Today I write a note to his team about how I felt....a frank voice. I dont care if it's heard or not. Its just my voice.

Dear Sir,

Wishes for this year and hope all is great at your end !!

This is my first communication to you and to someone who has also played a pivotal role by accepting the services of my father for the last 17 years. Your far experienced eye and seniority by age makes me rather anxious as I put my thoughts down here. I begin with due apologies if the intent of this mail does not bear well with you. It is only a humble attempt to put forth a daughter's naive perspective. 

I'd prefer starting on a very upbeat note of THANKING YOU!  for all your support in the last 17 years of my dad's employment with Kumar Organics. We as kids have grown up without any perceivable difficulty, thanks to this employment.
What began as a 'job', 'necessity' for him way back in 1998, when I was just in my 7th standard, has today ended as his career and the nucleus of the prime years of his life. I don't wish to draw empathy here- however be it my mother's sickness that he battled bravely or ensuring there was no shortfall in our upbringing, I cannot recall one day when he flinched or compromised in his commitment to Kumar Organics. We ridiculed him at times in our naivety, asking if he had a life beyond KOP or whether he was indispensable! Sleepless nights, precious saturdays which we wished to spend with him, very short holidays because "work is more important', was all that defined him.

All of 13 years in my 7th standard you were perhaps my dad's 'boss'. Today having completed my education, getting worthy enough of working in a company and starting to shoulder the responsibility of a family, I cannot but understand the value an employer brings to one's life. My happiness at work is not determined by the salary I earn, but by my colleagues who surround me and most importantly by my seniors. Effort be put, acknowledgment by my seniors goes a really long way in building my happiness and contentment quotient. 

When my dad told me about his retirement, I was most excited with the prospect of his seniors, including you ("Mr. UK Singh" had become part of our dictionary since young!!)  being a part of HIS day!  Something that WE as family are so proud of ! At this juncture I wish to convey my dismay to hear your absence at the Start of his new innings! I wish to give you the benefit of doubt and believe something of more pressing need would have made you give his important day a pass. However, apologies if we expected you to convey the same to him over some mode of communication.

I have nothing more to say since words are few to convey any disappointment. I for once felt my belief system getting challenged. My belief that Goodness and Hardwork is always rewarded with respect. I hope to take it in my stride as a lesson learnt.
On this note, I wish you great luck and hope that your daughter/son does not face the disappointment that I did. May they be truly proud one day to see you finish a stellar professional and personal life amidst people who mattered to you !!

Yours respectfully,

Aruna Ranganathan

Irrespective of who turned up or not I am proud of you Pappa !! Cheers to good health and happiness ahead !!

Thursday 19 March 2015

Time has gone by.....has happiness too?

As days pass by, just as how today closes itself I try to make peace with who I am, what I do and why I do what I do. I look forward to a night of restful sleep mindless of what is in store for me tomorrow. I look forward to feeling happier. Yes, I agree happiness is a state of mind. But training the mind to find happiness is daunting, especially when happiness is linked to expectations; fulfilling a want or desire. It's our ego talking, if we believe it isn't linked to one. Take any aspect of your lives and vet it against this parameter.

We seek intervention and pray. But aren't we again negotiating with the higher power to fulfill a desire? "Just let this happen...and I will forever remain faithful to you". I am tired as I write this. I wonder why I work and work so hard. For what? I recall my childhood.. As a 4 year old I remember my mother getting unwell and taken to a hospital.As a 6 year old I remember my parents waking up at 4a.m to fill water since it only came then. As an 8 year old I recall, I had just one 'extra' shoe apart from my school shoes. I had to take part in a school program and the teacher asked us to wear one of those 'fancy heeled shoes'. I asked my parents and was upset being told that the existing one would be polished and that I could use that. As a 12 year old I recall my dad having a conversation with me by a roadside shop "My job isn't going great, I may have to probably leave it. I am worried and I don't know whether I will have the money to be able to fulfill your little desires. Sorry if may not be able to...but I will try". Every alternate year of my childhood I recall my mom falling ill. My parents have worked very very hard to get me to where I am. Nothing has transpired easy.....there have been numerous challenges...but I managed to find my way out..I managed to find happiness! I managed well...to feel happier! Yes in a comparative sense...compared to what I am today. And I wonder why so? I am financially fine, have adequate 'materialism' to support a good lifestyle...still...there is no peace of mind... I don't have the strength to find happiness.
And I wonder why so?Maybe some answers here?

Money doesn't buy happiness
A job doesn't give it too
It doesn't come through name or fame
For at the end, it's all the same

What mattered perhaps was Time
Time spent with someone who mattered
To share some love and make life better
For at the end, we all live for what?
When rich or poor, success or failure...all comes to naught