Last week or so chikki had his first ever Chinmaya mission competition on Bhagwad Gita chapter 15. Wow we practiced a lot ! ! This goes back to what my dad always tells ....do whatever you do with full dedication, otherwise dont do it. I keep telling this to my kuttu. I know I can be a nag, because I want this done EVERY single time. and he's a kuttu..so he doesnt !!!
But for Bhagwad Gita...we worked so hard. I taught him first ! (it was my 1st time too learning it). Got Balavihar aunty to rehearse and correct his mistakes..and it was sooo amazing that he made it to the district level from his school. Agree not many participants :) but it was such a boost
For the district level we had to go to another school. Chinmaya Vidyalaya and we were so excited (well ofc I was more!). It seemed to take me back to the days when I was learning. I entered the premises and so many ..so many memories flooded in. I held back my tears- -because every such instance is a reminder of who i was, who I am and who I want to stay being as.....I saw the OM lamp, I saw Swami Chinmaya's paduka /photo and just the program with so many children gathering made me feel..so so nice and just a feel good that Im (hopefully) passing on my culture to my little boy. To confess I sometimes feel that I carry the weight of passing good virtues/ concept of prayer/ the poise of dedication all alone. But then, if I reflect even in my upbringing it was my dad who was more vocal about this, not necessarily mom who is generally more sedate about these things
The program started and the Swami who led the kick off, said such an amazing line about how we should compete NOT with others but getting better than our own selves. Such profound words
The kids went into their respective rooms and I walked around to the nearby temple and just sat. Such bliss....again memories flooded. every time I walk into 'my space' I end up crying. I sometimes, in the daily race of things, in the rudeness of what I face, in the situations I put my ego ahead, tend to forget that Im actually blessed with this upbringing to lean on. I feel I have faced situations I did not deserve..to be treated disrespectfully....I did not deserve it..and then I tell myself...wiping my tears off...that mom did not deserve MS...dad DID NOT deserve to be caged his life caretaking....we ALL have a cross to carry...beauty is in showing to God...we can carry it well...that we are grateful for the SO MANY good things he has given me which I take for granted
I had a lovely lunch prasadam. Kuttus was bored a bit given we spent nearly 4 hrs since 8am. He did not win....a bit of a bummer---BUT this day gave me a lot. every such thing teaches me something...why am I in the race to 'perfect' my own son..let him enjoy failure, let him learn from it. He felt bad too- and im glad he did. Effort when sincere always hurts when we dont get the reward.
Aside this-- just seeing chikki grow to a beautiful boy..such an amazing heart and receptive mind he has...I am always IMPRESSED..
We also had a good outing to visit a magic show ! probably my 1st time too , like it was for chikki. Probably also one of the very few days when there was some kindness overall as a family shown :) Ok I wont drag this
He had his own learning lession last week in the school picnic when he playfully took someone's chappals and threatened his friend that he would put it out of the window...(looks like 1 fell...)....but he got a life lesson...NEVER TO TELL SELECTIVE truths...its always better to say the full truth and to keep the heart light.
My chikki got so worked up ...fact that his class teacher Latha mam also shouted at him !! he was scared to go to school and infact got potty twice that morning!!! my chikkiiii- but this is how u will learn ... and I hope the learning always stays with you...to remind you....KEEP A CLEAN heart....u will shine
Like I always tell you da....BEING KIND is tough....play the tough role !!
Muuuaahhh kuttuuu !!!! love u infinitely !!!
P.S also btw I attempted my 1st rava laddoo for Diwali. The only comment I first got is "Too much neii". Anyways Im used to it- you cant expect appreciation from someone who doesnt have it in them to give it! 😇. I thought it came out quite well !! I dont hate cooking- but having been rubbed off in the wrong side so many times...given im not interested in eating...I feel like giving a damn and not MAKING anything also :)
